*** Relationship 101 from Atchie ***

its 1:05 AM, i was about to sleep already, but i could not let this evening pass by without having to post on this...

a little background... i just ended a 20 month relationship, four days from now, it would be a month since we broke up... it is not just a simple relationship, it was a live-in relationship... reason? because the person fell out of love and can no longer give me the assurance and the security that i seek in our relationship.... partly it is my fault also, but, the person admitted it, she no longer love me the same way as before... when asked why, she did not give me any answer... though painful, i decided that we really have to end it...

with that, and knowing the truth last saturday, made me think that if im doing the right thing in a relationship, if as claimed by my partners, it is not my fault, it is theirs, then how come my relationships dont last?

earlier, i had a chance to chat with my sister who is in Australia right now... she knows about me, (phew... buti na lang, parents ko na lang ang prob ko...).

it was the most wonderful talk i had with her... it started with the usual kamustahan, updates with work, her health and ours... eventually, i dont know how, but it lead us to talking about me being paranoid... next thing i know, she was already giving me an advice that it is not healthy to be paranoid especially in a relationship.... "oh chie, please stop talking about relationships... i understand what you want to imply but not now please...."

i had no choice, but i opened up to her.... she already had a feeling why i was leaving my current place and looking for a new one...

i want to share some lines that she said that really struck me...
- "makaka apekto yan sa mga relationships mo kahit sa ibang tao kung mauuna ka ng takot na me ginawa ka kung ala kang response from them" (Translation: It will affect your relationships with people if you would think negatively if you did not get any replies from them.)

- "is your being worth every penny to be in a relationship that you are in".

- "you should never let yourself na on the doubt side... kasi at the end, pag me problem kahit di ikaw ang me kasalanan ang magiging pakiramdam mo ikaw ang me kasalanan" (Translation: dont let yourself be on the doubting side. in the end, you would always feel that it is your fault for every problem that you will encounter.)

- "and don't ever go out seeking security, assurance and commitment"

- "kasi the moment na you start seeking out love, it will take advantage over you..."

- "it's different to be proud of yourself, but you should always have faith in yourself"

- " darating yung kung kelan gusto ni Lord, wag mong hanapin, kasi it just may cause you heart ache"

- "you shouldn't be in the giving end always, kasi masasakal yung tao"

- "especially in our society when good ones are in the closet" - oh so true!!!

- "you emotions wll only be strengthened at its roots"

- "just remember that the right person is just around the corner"


very very nice words chie.... i can really use a hug right now... i thought right away, patay, i will be crying myself to sleep tonight... but after thinking about it, sabi nga ni atchie, is it worth your penny?.... nah!!! love you so much chie.... looking forward to the time that we will be together there in australia... by the way, i was able to drive from alabang town center to our place... i know im getting there... tonight Alabang... Next month: Makati!